IMOH

it is usually the not extremely attractive people who post an obsessive amount of photos showing their not extremely attractive faces on blogs.

but hey, it is a free society and self confidence (misplaced or not) should be applauded.

heart song

Failing to articulate feelings, solace is taken in songs. So for those brief minutes, feel that you are not alone in the emotions, not solitary in the fight. And perhaps, just perhaps, convince yourself that there is an intrinsic ability to heal over someday.

“And I know that it’s a wonderful world
But I cant feel it right now,
I thought I was doing well but I just want to cry now,
Well I know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
but I can only see when you’re here, here with me.

And I wish that I could make it better,
I’d give anything for you to call me,
Maybe just a little letter
Oh it could start again.”

By right

I shouldn’t lament how little I’m being paid cos I’m not doing much work.
I shouldn’t wallow in self-pity cos the issues I face are nothing compared to what most people in the world have to deal with
I shouldn’t be so childish and irrational and just grow up.

Yet, by wrong, in the small little hole I call my life, I do so anyway.

innuendo

Compartmentalisation

We have to do it. Because we know the world doesnt revolve around us.

There is still school related stuff to be settled. There is still work to be done. Which explains why I go about making conversations, smiling, laughing and maintaining contact with people when all I want to do is to close up from the world.

At the back of the mind, there is knowledge that negativity will drive those around me away. Concealment has never been one of my qualities. Nevertheless, I’ve learnt to show/tell others only what I need to, instead of what I really want to.

And it makes me sick. Sometimes, I fail to see why I continue to protect when the same protection is not echoed. But the little thing called heart tells me that it is the right course of action, even if it cannot be logically explained.

I am touched by concerns shown and would very much like to reach out. But the end of each day, tears are shed alone.

Guess this is life.

…You only see what your eyes want to see…

soundpedia

pirating (of sorts)

i still prefer the idiot-proof-ness of pandora. but since i get to hear music for free, shant complain too much. moreover, must be patriotic and support local enterprise.

art

in the past month, i have perfected the art of the following -
smile and not mean it
laugh and not feel it
cry and not show it

but at the end of the day, the eyes dont lie.

Martin Luther King Jr:

In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.

aside

it has been sometime since i have posted anything intellectual. truth is, i havent exactly been engaging in much intellectual pursuits lately. and to aid my brain’s utter degeneration is something called youtube.

damn incredible and probably not from this planet.

empty eyes

Hodges: You ever do the right thing, and still feel guilty?
Sara: Yeah. Sucks, doesn’t it?

the glimmer of optimism lost.

bits of silver lining

the only bright spark is that i am at my thinnest in 4 years. nothing like a hospital stay for one’s jawline to be seen again.

sorry for all the gatherings and meetups missed.
thanks for all the concern.

i have been certified medically fine.